Sometimes I feel like this. Today for instance.
You know how they say that everything worth having is worth working hard for? Yeah, I believe it too. Sometimes though… sometimes it’s hard to keep going even when you’re being encouraged. Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that what you want will happen. Sometimes it doesn’t make you feel any better that it’s happened for others.
You start to second-guess yourself. You start to wonder if this imaginary media job is really the only thing that will make you happy. You start to question the meaning of happiness itself.
For me personally, it’s also a matter of feeling like an outsider; an uncool kid at the cool kids’ table. It doesn’t matter if it’s not true. The feeling is nagging and persistent and it’s one I’ve had for as long as I can remember. Once a nerd, always a nerd I suppose.
The pep talks help, but I’ve heard them all a dozen times. But what I don’t want is for you to feel sorry for me. And what I want most of all is to not feel sorry for myself. Because I know I have it really great compared to most people. I’m at least able to pursue what I want and have the free time to do so. But sometimes this is really hard.